Protective Jealousy is the Characteristic of the Noble - I

Protective jealousy is an innate noble characteristic upon which a
sound person whom Allaah has honored and favored was created. Islam
elevated the rank of this sublime trait and laudably mentioned it to
the extent that it considers defending one's honor and being
protectively jealous about inviolable matters a type of Jihaad. For
this, a person may offer everything and sacrifice his soul, and such a
person would be at the same rank as the martyr in Paradise. It was
narrated on the authorityof Sa'eed ibn Zayd that he said, "I heard the
Prophet saying: 'A person who is killed while protecting his property
is a martyr, a person who is killed while defending his life is a
martyr, a person whois killed while defending his religion is a
martyr, and a person who is killed while defending his family is a
martyr.'
"
The Meaning of Protective Jealousy
It is a change in the state of the heart and feelings of anger that
arise due toa person's feeling that others might share or aspire to
share something that he owns. This feeling appears among the spouses.
Both men and women share this instinct, although theprotective
jealousy of women is greater. This feeling becomes more intense when
the womanfeels that her husband is betraying her or that he desires
another woman. Likewise, the man feels the same when he has suspicions
regarding his wife's behavior or feels that she desires other men.
Protective Jealously from the Sharee'ah Viewpoint
For both men and women, protective jealousy, when called for and shown
in a moderateway, is a praiseworthy trait and it is a necessity for
spouses in order that they can live in kindness. Each of them also has
to consider the protective jealousy of the other and know that every
matter has a moderate and sensible point between its two extremes. It
was proven that the Prophet said: "There is jealousythat Allaah loves
and jealousy that He hates. There is pride that Allaah loves and pride
that He hates. The jealousy that Allaah loves is jealousy regarding a
matter of suspicion. The jealousy that He hates is jealousy regarding
something that is not doubtful. The pride that Allaah loves is a man's
pride when fighting and when givingin charity. The pride that Allaah
hates is that shown in oppression andboasting." [Ahmad and others,
Al-Albaani - Saheeh]
Protective Jealousy is an Indication of Manliness
Protective jealousy, whenjustified and shown in a moderate manner, is
an indication of true manhood. It leads to the protection of honor,
the safeguarding of sacred ordinances, the veneration of the symbols
of Allaah, and the promotion of adherence to the limits that He has
set. It denotesthe strength of one's faith and shows that it is
instilled in his heart. Little wonder then that unethical practices,
impermissible exposure of women's beauty, immorality and
licentiousness prevails throughout the western world and other similar
communities. The reason behind this is either the lack of or the
complete absence of protective jealousy.
Even in the pre-Islamic era, this characteristic prevailed among the
Arabs who experienced the meanings of these virtues. They would be
protectively jealous even about their neighbors' honor from their own
desires. Manly zeal could also drive these people toincite wars for
the sake of any assault against a woman, to protect her honor, or in
response to her seeking refuge. The cause of the war of Al-Fijaar that
broke out between the Arabs was that a group of youth from Banu
Kinaanah saw a woman in the market of 'Ukaath and asked her to uncover
her face, and when she refused they began mocking her. Thereupon, she
screamed, "O people of 'Aamir!" Immediately their fighters responded
to her request. The tribe of Kinaanah stood to defend their youth. The
tribe of Hawaazin stood on the side of Banu 'Aamir and Quraysh stoodon
the side of Kinaanah, which resulted in a countless number of victims
and much bloodshed.
Excessive Protective Jealousy
Excessive jealousy is a source of trouble for the person and those
aroundhim. Many so-called honor-related crimes are committed due to
rumors. This extent of jealousy, which is hazardous, may drive a
person to kill others without any justification or sound evidence for
hisaction. This happens in many places. Some husbands have the disease
of bitter doubts which turns their marital life into unbearable
turmoil. It was narrated that the Prophet forbade that a man should
unexpectedly come to his wife at night,doubting her fidelity
andprobing into her lapses. [Muslim] It is improper for a husband to
have no confidence in his wife, and he should not be excessive in
monitoring her each and every action. There is no doubt that such
behavior damages the marital relationship and severs what Allaah The
Almightyhas ordered to be joined.
'Ali ibn Abi Taalib would say, "Do not have excessive jealousy over
your wives such that you would cause them to be slandered." Also,
Mu'aawiyah said, "There are three characteristics of
nobility:Forgiveness, having a flatabdomen and avoiding excessive
protective jealousy."
Therefore, moderation inthis regard is very important and the limits
of the required protective jealousy are determined by the texts of the
Sharee'ah. It was narrated that the Prophet said: "Allaah becomes
jealous and the believer also becomes jealous. Allaah becomes jealous
when the believer commits what He has forbidden." [Al-Bukhaari]
Protective jealousy is required if women violate the prohibitions of
Allaah The Almighty, and in this case such jealousy is praiseworthy.
Conversely, being void of such jealousy in these situations is
dispraised and is the cause of a person being prevented from entering
Paradise. The proof of this is what was narrated on the authority of
'Ammaar ibn Yaasir that the Prophet said: "There are three types of
people who will never enter Paradise: A Dayyooth, a woman who assumes
a masculine attitude and an alcoholic." His Companions asked, "O
Messenger of Allaah, we know what an alcoholic is, but what is a
Dayyooth?" He replied: "He is the person who does not care who has
private access to his womenfolk." The Companions asked, "Whoare the
women who assume a masculine attitude?" He replied: "They are women
who imitate men."
Considering the Protective Jealousy of Others
When a man feels the pain of a loss or jealousy when his friend
forsakes him and befriends someone else, then we should consider the
jealousy of the mother-in-law. A mother in this situation feels as if
she has lost her son to someone else, after having cared for him
throughout his entire lifeand sacrificed every dear and precious thing
to make him a man of consequence in this life. Also, just as the
person feels jealous over his wife, he should consider her jealousy
over him. It is improper to show his admiration for other women, not
to mention narrating his pre or post-marital relationships, as this is
not a source of pride. Rather, a person should keep it hidden, repent
from such an act if they have happened, and adhere to Sitr (covering
and protection).
A woman should also control herself as much as she can, otherwise
herjealousy would be irrepressible. Commenting on the versein which
Allaah The Almighty Says (what means): {And they will have therein
purified spouses.} [Quran 2:25], Ibn Al-Qayyim said, "They are
purified from menstruation, urination and any harm that afflictswomen
in this world. Their souls are also purified from jealousy, wanting to
harm their husbands and desire for other men."
The Jealousy of Allaah The Exalted
Sharee'ah texts prove that Allaah The Exalted becomes jealous . His
jealousy is a fact and He becomes jealous in a manner that befits His
majesty and perfection. Amanifestation of His Jealousy is His dislike
thatHis slave should fall into acts of disobedience or associate
anything in what is due solely to Him in terms of obeying His commands
and avoiding His prohibitions. It was narrated that the Prophet said:
"Allaah becomes jealous and the believer also becomes jealous. Allaah
becomes jealous when the believer commits what He has forbidden."
[Al-Bukhaari] In another Hadeeth, he said: "No one is more jealous
than Allaah The Almighty. Because of His jealousy, Allaah has
prohibited immorality, both apparent and concealed, and no one likes
to be praised more than Allaah The Almighty." [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim]
Another narration of this Hadeeth states: "The believer gets jealous
and Allaah is even more jealous." [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim]
It was narrated in a Hadeeth that the Prophet said to his Companions
about one of them: "Are you surprised at Sa'd's jealousy over his
honor? By Allaah, I am more jealous over my honor than he is over his,
and Allaah is more jealous than I am." [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim]

Severity and Violence Lead to Remorse

In a Hadeeth on the authority of 'Aa'ishah it was mentioned that some
Jews came to the Prophet and said, "As-Saamu 'Alaykum [death be on
you]." 'Aa'ishah therefore said (to them), "[Death] be upon you,
andmay Allaah curse you and inflict His wrath upon you." The Prophet
said: "O 'Aa'ishah! Be calm. You should be kind and lenient, and
beware of severity and bad words." She said, "Did you not you hear
what they said?" He replied: "And did you hear what I said [to them]?
I said the same tothem, and my supplication against them will be
accepted while theirs against me will be rejected." [Al-Bukhaari and
Muslim]
This is how the Prophet taught us to avoid severity and resort to
easygoingness in all matters; he said: "Leniency adorns anything that
contains it, while anything that it is void of isdistorted."
The Meaning of Severity
Leniency means moderateness and kindness while severity is theabsence
of these qualities in dealing with any matter. In otherwords, it is
extremism and exaggeration that are accompanied by stiffness and
rudeness when dealing with others, even if they have behaved
impolitely.
Treating people severely creates adesire for retaliation when there is
a chance to do so, while kindness reconciles the hearts and makes
people obedient.
Deprived of Goodness
The one deprived of leniency and who lives among people and treats
them violently would be deprived of goodness, as the Prophet said:
"The one who isdeprived of leniency would be deprived of all
goodness."
Severity is a disgraceful and evil phenomenon that leads to the
spreading of grudges and enmities among people. It creates a desire
for challenging others and stubbornness that in turn leads to
disobeying orders and directives, even if they are good. Severity in
attempting to fix any mechanism leads to its breakage, while severity
when facing calamities destroys one's power and energy.
Violence, Severity and the Mass Media
Many studies and seminars have tackled the effects of violence and
severity propagated by the mass media on the behavior of its audience,
especially youngsters.
Unfortunately, many of the programs and series that are broadcast
today represent the oppression that people suffer at others' hands,
beginning from snubbing, neglecting and ridiculing them up to hitting,
cursing, or even committing crimes against them such as assault or
murder. This, undoubtedly, affects young people and this effect
appears later on in life, as some studies have revealed.
Violence and Severity with Servants and the Weak
An aspect of violence that people see in some communities is that
practiced against servants and other weak people, in addition
todespising them and burdening them with unbearable hard work, some
people may even hit them and abuse them physically and mentally. This
is something that should not, for any reason, be spread in Muslim
communities. Here is an incident that took place at the time of
theProphet :
Abu Mas'ood Al-Badri said: "Once, I was beating my slave with a whip
when I heard a voice behind me saying, 'O Abu Mas'ood, you ought to
know.' I did not recognize the voice because of my severe anger. When
he [who had spoken] approached me, I found that it was the Messenger
of Allaah and he was saying: 'O Abu Mas'ood, you ought to know
thatAllaah has more dominance over you than you have over your slave.'
I [then] said, 'I would never ever beat a servant again infuture.'"
The wording of another narration of this incident reads, "Abu Mas'ood
said 'He is free for the Sake of Allaah.' The Prophet said, 'If you
had not have done that, you would have been burnt by the Fire.'"
Violence and Severity Against Women
Statistics show that violence against women has become a widespread
phenomenon in western countries, which may be due to the corruption
and deviation of the methods of upbringing there. There is no doubt
that our societies are not free from such strange cases where women
and children are exposed to violence. In spite of the fact that these
cases are limited in our societies, we should remind people that this
is something that is despicable and contradicts the Islamic Sharee'ah
and its moral system.
The Prophet said: "I forbid the[usurping of the] right of two weak
people: orphans and women." When the Prophet was informed that some
men hit their wives, he said: "They are notthe best among you."
If women or children needed to be reformed, physical punishment should
be the last resort. Allaah The Almighty Says (what means): {Men are in
charge of women by [right of] what Allaah has given one over the other
and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth. So righteous
women are devoutlyobedient, guarding in [the husband's] absence what
Allaah would have them guard. But those [wives] from whom you fear
arrogance - [first] advise them; [then if they persist], forsake them
in bed; and [finally],strike them gently. But if they obey you [once
more], seek no means against them. Indeed, Allaah is ever Exalted and
Grand.} [Quran 4:34]
Even if it reaches this extent, the Sharee'ah rules that guarantee the
safety of the soul and the body and that allow no harm to be done
should be observed.
Violence with Animals
Some people who have a corrupt disposition find pleasure in tormenting
animals and use violence against them. Islam forbids this. The Prophet
onceentered an orchard that was owned by one of the Ansaar and found a
camel in it. When the camel saw the Prophet it shed tears, so the
Prophet wiped his tears and asked about his owner. A man from the
Ansaar said that it was his, so theProphet said to him: "Will notyou
fear Allaah with regards to the animal that He has granted you? It
complained to me that you keep it hungry and exhaust it."
In conclusion, it has to be remembered that the lenient person gains
safety, while violence and severity only leads to remorse.

A simple Good Night becomes a special greeting when it is heartily given, by someone so dear. You have given me Good Night

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And Allah Knows the Best!

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Published by :->
M NajimudeeN Bsc- INDIA

¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤

M. NajimudeeN. Bsc:-: INDIA |-:-|: Ch 9: Inside the House http://aydnajimudeen.blogspot.com/2012/10/ch-9-inside-house_26.html?spref=tw

Dua before Sleeping -. اَللّهُمَّ بِسْمِكَ أَمُوْتُ وَ أَحْيَ O Allah , with Your name I die and live (Bukhari)

.
اَللّهُمَّ بِسْمِكَ أَمُوْتُ وَ أَحْيَ
O Allah , with Your name I die and live
(Bukhari)

Dua Upon Hearing Thunder- Abdullah ibn Umar (RA) said that when the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) heard the sound of thunder he said: اللَّهُمَّ لَا تَقْتُلْنَا بِغَضَبِكَ وَلَا تُهْلِكْنَا بِعَذَابِكَ وَعَافِنَا قَبْلَ ذَلِكَ O Allah , do not kill us

Abdullah ibn Umar (RA) said that when the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم)
heard the sound of thunder he said:
اللَّهُمَّ لَا تَقْتُلْنَا بِغَضَبِكَ وَلَا تُهْلِكْنَا بِعَذَابِكَ
وَعَافِنَا قَبْلَ ذَلِكَ
O Allah , do not kill us with Your anger and do not destroy us with
Your punishment, but preserve us before that happens.
(Imam Tirmizi )

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Getting Through Mini-Depressions

Many people periodically go through short depressions when they feel
negative about everything in their lives. There are ways we can
minimize these depressions, and steps we can take to ensure wedon't
sabotage our relationships when we'refeeling blue.
In my case, I go through regular periods of mini-depression every few
months. My mood will be utterly black, my mind filled with
self-critical thoughts: "I'ma failure, I'm a hypocrite, I have no real
friends, I've wasted my life…" But even in the depths of depression I
know that the mood will not last. One good night's sleep will restore
me to normal, Insha'Allah. So I keep my mouth shut and do not express
those negative thoughts to family or friends, becauseI know I will
regret it later if I do….
Does this happen to you? If so, then pay attention to your own
emotional cycles so that you know what to expect. Control yourself
when you're feeling down. Speak onlywhat is good, or stay silent.
Let's be very clear: You should not ignore genuine problems in your
life. If something is missing or making you unhappy, work on it
Insha'Allah. I'm also not saying that you should remain silent about
real issues that you face. If you've got problems in your family, it's
important to communicate to resolve them. It's also good to talk to a
therapist or counselor.
But when you are depressed, your viewpoint becomes skewed, and it's
not necessarily representative of reality. So when you have those dark
thoughts that say, "My life is worthless and Ihate everyone," don't
express those to anyone except your therapist or counselor. Don't call
up your best friend and say, "You're not a true friend, you don't care
about me." That's not productive and will only destroy your
relationship.
When you're depressed, hold on to your lifeline with God, eat well and
get plenty of rest, and be patient until the mood passes Insha'Allah.
Try to fill your life with good things: people you care about, work
that matters,hobbies you love, good books to read, exercise you enjoy…
these good things provide a safety net when you're feeling blue.
For example, photographer and human rights activist Asmaa-Deanna Dee
says, "When I am feeling low and downtrodden I just find a quiet place
and sit alone with my favorite book (the Quran)! When Iturn each of
its miraculous pages my heart begins to feel lighter and the world
around me brighter! The love, warmth and security of each word sets in
and it is in these very moments that I know for sure in my heart how
much Allah really loves me! Alhamdulillah! Subhanallah! Allahu Akbar!"
Also remind yourself of the good things in your life, and try to be
gratefulfor them. Do not look to those who have more than you, but
those who have less. Think of the times in your life when God has
helped you, guided you, and saved you. He will do so again.
By the way, I don't get those mini-depressions as often anymore. I'm
notsure why, but it could be that I exercise every day now. Also, I am
active in the Muslim community, I write passionately about subjects
that are important to me, and I have a daughter who I love… my life is
full of good things Alhamdulillah.
May your life also be full of good things.

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